|| Print ||
|Friday, December 17, 2010|
By Tom Cox
CEOs have to deal with difficult people all the time - and sometimes they themselves are the difficult ones. What are some proven ways to deal with difficult people?
How am I contributing?
The first thing Pamela recommends we do actively is to look at how each of us is contributing to the conflict -- any contribution at all, including having conflict-feeding beliefs or assumptions. This is a highly empowering tool because as soon as you see how you're contributing, you can immediately change it. You don't have to make others change, or wait for them to change.
When did I do that?
Another technique is to ask, "When did I ever do what they are doing?" When someone else takes the last drop of coffee and doesn't make a new pot - or drives too slowly in the fast lane - I ask whether I ever did anything similar, and why. When I realize I've done it too, I start to forgive them and they stop irritating me. If you can't go that far, then at least send a blessing. When you send the blessing you help keep your own head in a positive place.
Learn to Coach Conflict Resolution
When two of your subordinates are the ones in conflict, the most vital thing you as a manager can do is listen. And you need to listen much more deeply than you normally do.
When you listen in depth, it's much more than just about the words people are using. "It's never what people are saying - it's what's underneath." (See this article on listening or listen to the interview on listening.)
Contributing blogger Thomas B. Cox runs Cox Business Consulting, Inc. and is creator of the blog and web radio show Tom on Leadership, aimed at CEOs and business owners. He has worked with IBM, Oracle, Tektronix, ODOT, Intel and others.
|The Good Hacker|
|It's a Man's Man's Man's World|
|Short Shrift:The threat of just-in-time scheduling|
|Downtime with the director of Barley's Angels|
|Fighting Fire With Fire|
|Shades of Gray|
|Man for All Seasons|
|How to court millennials|
|Wal-Mart wants meat suppliers to improve treatment of animals|
|Scandal negatively impacts Tom Brady's endorsement value|
|John Kerry pushes TPP in Seattle speech|
|Big banks hit with $2.5B fine|
|Six Chinese nationals allegedly stole trade secrets|
|Lane Bryant owner to buy Ann Taylor, Loft|
New conference aims to solve challenges, quell fears amid regulatory changes.
Tourism marketing supports entrepreneurship by attracting visitors to all corners of the state.
Beaverton firm's business intelligence platform rivals that of industry heavyweights.
The Oregon Entrepreneurs Network (OEN) will be presenting its third annual Entrepreneurial Summit on Friday, June 5 at Castaway in Portland, Oregon.
On June 13th Mayor Charlie Hales will attend nonprofit organization Dream Change’s inaugural Love Summit and will introduce one of its keynote speakers, Dan Wieden of Wieden+Kennedy advertising agency.
34 spots for food, 17 places to sip, and 7 sites to choose a brew beckon visitors.