|| Print ||
|Friday, December 17, 2010|
By Tom Cox
CEOs have to deal with difficult people all the time - and sometimes they themselves are the difficult ones. What are some proven ways to deal with difficult people?
How am I contributing?
The first thing Pamela recommends we do actively is to look at how each of us is contributing to the conflict -- any contribution at all, including having conflict-feeding beliefs or assumptions. This is a highly empowering tool because as soon as you see how you're contributing, you can immediately change it. You don't have to make others change, or wait for them to change.
When did I do that?
Another technique is to ask, "When did I ever do what they are doing?" When someone else takes the last drop of coffee and doesn't make a new pot - or drives too slowly in the fast lane - I ask whether I ever did anything similar, and why. When I realize I've done it too, I start to forgive them and they stop irritating me. If you can't go that far, then at least send a blessing. When you send the blessing you help keep your own head in a positive place.
Learn to Coach Conflict Resolution
When two of your subordinates are the ones in conflict, the most vital thing you as a manager can do is listen. And you need to listen much more deeply than you normally do.
When you listen in depth, it's much more than just about the words people are using. "It's never what people are saying - it's what's underneath." (See this article on listening or listen to the interview on listening.)
Contributing blogger Thomas B. Cox runs Cox Business Consulting, Inc. and is creator of the blog and web radio show Tom on Leadership, aimed at CEOs and business owners. He has worked with IBM, Oracle, Tektronix, ODOT, Intel and others.
|The List: 100 Best Nonprofits to Work For in Oregon|
|Run, Nick, Run|
|One Tough Mayor|
|100 Best Nonprofits: Working for equality inside and out|
|Cream of the Crop|
|Keep Pendleton Weird|
|2 out of 5 millennials pay for their news|
|Oregon's graying workforce|
|How much did Bernie Sanders raise in Q3?|
|Federal regulators OK Jordan Cove LNG terminal|
|Amazon to emulate parts of Uber's model|
|Another former Daimler alleges discrimination|
|Struggling Whole Foods announces layoffs|
Wage gaps and workforce shortages are threatening the quality of care and supports to Oregonians with intellectual and developmental disabilities. Who’s caring for those who care for our most vulnerable residents?
Engaging employees and customers along the way.
After first visiting as tourists, entrepreneurs relocate to Oregon and spur economic growth.
Are you planning a meeting, party, gala, fundraiser, holiday party, golf tournament, retirement party, team building or birthday? You won’t want to miss this show to get hundreds of great ideas!
Promoting from within its own ranks, PacificSource Health Plans has tapped Tony Kopki to head its commercial lines of business in Oregon, Idaho and Montana. In his new role as Vice President of Commercial Programs, Kopki will provide strategic, product and market leadership for PacificSource’s commercial programs.
Thomson brings 25 years of healthcare experience in provider relations, sales, marketing and communications.