|| Print ||
|Friday, December 17, 2010|
By Tom Cox
CEOs have to deal with difficult people all the time - and sometimes they themselves are the difficult ones. What are some proven ways to deal with difficult people?
How am I contributing?
The first thing Pamela recommends we do actively is to look at how each of us is contributing to the conflict -- any contribution at all, including having conflict-feeding beliefs or assumptions. This is a highly empowering tool because as soon as you see how you're contributing, you can immediately change it. You don't have to make others change, or wait for them to change.
When did I do that?
Another technique is to ask, "When did I ever do what they are doing?" When someone else takes the last drop of coffee and doesn't make a new pot - or drives too slowly in the fast lane - I ask whether I ever did anything similar, and why. When I realize I've done it too, I start to forgive them and they stop irritating me. If you can't go that far, then at least send a blessing. When you send the blessing you help keep your own head in a positive place.
Learn to Coach Conflict Resolution
When two of your subordinates are the ones in conflict, the most vital thing you as a manager can do is listen. And you need to listen much more deeply than you normally do.
When you listen in depth, it's much more than just about the words people are using. "It's never what people are saying - it's what's underneath." (See this article on listening or listen to the interview on listening.)
Contributing blogger Thomas B. Cox runs Cox Business Consulting, Inc. and is creator of the blog and web radio show Tom on Leadership, aimed at CEOs and business owners. He has worked with IBM, Oracle, Tektronix, ODOT, Intel and others.
|How Doug Badger spends his downtime|
|Port at a crossroads|
|100 Best awards 2014|
|Our man in Congress|
|NASA discovers first potentially habitable planet|
|Effects of childhood bullying last a lifetime|
|Scientists make first embryo clones from adults|
|Man urinates in reservoir, ruins 38M gallons of water|
|Recreational marijuana use linked to brain changes|
|Former NYC mayor announces $50M gun law election push|
|U.S. consumer inflation rises: higher food, rent costs|
Marketing the state brings new business, new jobs and a better quality of life for everyone.
Living in the beautiful Pacific Northwest means enjoying our wonderful surroundings, while remaining aware of the multiple types of natural disaster threats that we face: winter storms, windstorms, floods, landslides, earthquakes, volcanoes and tsunamis.“
Oregon State University's hospitality degree program invests in next-generation leaders.
On Saturday, April 26, more than 1,900 local Comcast employees and their families, friends and community partners will “make change happen” as they volunteer to improve schools and nonprofits in Oregon and Southwest Washington as part of Comcast’s 13th Comcast Cares Day.
NAI Norris, Beggs & Simpson just completed their newly rebranded First Quarter Market Reports. Not only does it feature a brand new format, but the report ensures accuracy due to the annual truing up of their database.
Samuel Hernandez, an Associate at Barran Liebman, is the recipient of a 2014 Oregon State Bar Litigation Section Rising Litigator Award.