|| Print ||
|Friday, December 17, 2010|
By Tom Cox
CEOs have to deal with difficult people all the time - and sometimes they themselves are the difficult ones. What are some proven ways to deal with difficult people?
How am I contributing?
The first thing Pamela recommends we do actively is to look at how each of us is contributing to the conflict -- any contribution at all, including having conflict-feeding beliefs or assumptions. This is a highly empowering tool because as soon as you see how you're contributing, you can immediately change it. You don't have to make others change, or wait for them to change.
When did I do that?
Another technique is to ask, "When did I ever do what they are doing?" When someone else takes the last drop of coffee and doesn't make a new pot - or drives too slowly in the fast lane - I ask whether I ever did anything similar, and why. When I realize I've done it too, I start to forgive them and they stop irritating me. If you can't go that far, then at least send a blessing. When you send the blessing you help keep your own head in a positive place.
Learn to Coach Conflict Resolution
When two of your subordinates are the ones in conflict, the most vital thing you as a manager can do is listen. And you need to listen much more deeply than you normally do.
When you listen in depth, it's much more than just about the words people are using. "It's never what people are saying - it's what's underneath." (See this article on listening or listen to the interview on listening.)
Contributing blogger Thomas B. Cox runs Cox Business Consulting, Inc. and is creator of the blog and web radio show Tom on Leadership, aimed at CEOs and business owners. He has worked with IBM, Oracle, Tektronix, ODOT, Intel and others.
Real Time - Oregon Business
Tweets by @OregonBusiness
|Will Medford Ever Be Cool?|
|The Carbon Calculus|
|The Human Factor|
|Raising the Stakes|
|Which Way to Chinatown?|
|GDP grows 2.6 percent in 4Q|
|Email scammers target younger demographic|
|McDonalds' head man steps down|
|Washington company recalls tainted beef|
|Commercial jet demand bolsters Boeing |
|Apple augments record quarter by shorting memory|
|Microsoft, Caterpillar woes lead Dow decrease|
Is your business ready to join us in the call for action? This opening panel includes Oregon businesses who will discuss why they signed the Oregon Climate Declaration, the investments they are making to reduce carbon emissions, and how their actions are affecting their companies.
Get ready for two days of special events produced with the EPA, Portland Timbers and ISOS before and after the GoGreen Conference on October 16.
hubbub health uses behavior change science to rethink wellness programs.
In Ashland, a public-private partnership results in online resources to help diversify the local economy.
How sports tourism is driving economic growth and making cities across Oregon a better place to live.
Sussman Shank LLP is pleased to announce that Matt Mertens has joined the firm. Matt will practice in the firm's Business, Litigation, and Business & Restructuring practice groups.
If you have given a former employee access to your company’s electronic information by virtue of assigning a desktop or laptop computer and you suspect he or she of having taken electronically stored data, there are several steps to follow to preserve electronic forensic evidence from spoliation.
The official launch will be Jan. 14.