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Santa's evil spy: the Elf on the Shelf

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Monday, December 10, 2012
Salon: Once upon a time, long ago in 2005, a lady named Carol Aebersold self-published a book about her innocuous holiday tradition. It was the story of an elf who would appear in your home after Thanksgiving to quietly observe how well the family was behaving, report back to Santa at the North Pole each night and reappear somewhere else in the household the next day. Whimsical! Today, the Elf is a best-selling, full-blown industry. And this writer hates the little creep:

"I hate the Elf on the Shelf. I hate his evil, dead-eyed sidelong smile. I hate that he invades innocent children’s homes without compunction. I even hate his full name: “The Elf on the Shelf: A Christmas Tradition.” I hate how it sounds like it’s a threat, like, “I’m not just the Elf: I’m the Elf who will return every goddamn Christmas of your life, everybody. So GIVE ME A NAME AND DEAL WITH IT.” I hate how he seems to become more powerful with each passing year.

Have I mentioned I hate the Elf on the Shelf?"

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