|| Print ||
|Friday, April 26, 2013|
BY TOM COX | BUSINESS TIPS CONTRIBUTOR
I’ve recently come to realize it’s hip to be square.
I decided this some months ago when I was helping present a powerful workshop to a corporate group, and one participant – let’s call him Joe – almost missed the boat. Joe is young and bright, and based on raw talent, intelligence and ability, could have gotten more out of the workshop than anybody else in his company.
But he didn’t – in fact, he almost got no value at all. I’d missed (until almost too late) seeing his attitude. He was aloof, impressed with his own cleverness, and was hiding his insecurities (we all have them) behind a facade of sophistication.
That facade of sophistication took the form of being critical of others.
I finally caught on when we were reviewing the major learnings of the workshop. Everybody was asked, what did you like best, or, what lesson will you take from this?
And everybody had an answer except Joe.
When it was his turn, he was a little at a loss for words, then started to offer us – I’m sure in a constructive spirit – some critiques for how we could do a better job with our workshop. I was actually very interested in that (as I always am in critiques of my performance) but my co-presenter stopped him. “We’ll ask for feedback later. This question is for your improvement, not ours. What did you like? What did you learn?”
Joe had no answer.
Afterwards we presenters debriefed, and my co-presenter described Joe as being pseudo-sophisticated. I realized I’d been doing the same sort of thing for years – distancing myself from things around me by viewing potential lessons as all being lessons for other people, not lessons for myself.
John Milton said “a wise man will make better use of an idle pamphlet, than a fool will do of sacred Scripture” and I realize in my fear of seeming “square” I had been playing the fool. Like Joe that day, for years I’d missed learning because I was trying to be “cool”. Learning takes risk and openness. Criticizing others is safe and closed, imposing an intellectual and emotional distance and detachment. How much more would I have learned by now if I’d been less “sophisticated” and more open – more square?
Happily, after Joe’s turn was his President, who had learned a lot and shared his enthusiasm freely. This provided the example I think Joe needed. (And this provided another lesson in the power that leaders have in modeling positive behaviors for others.) I could almost see Joe mentally replaying the workshop in his head, looking for what he liked, for what he could learn. In a somewhat sheepish way he shared it with the group, and I could see he was out of his comfort zone.
He was being square. And I decided I’m going to be more square too.
Tom Cox is a Portland area consultant and executive coach. He helps leaders exceed their business aspirations.
Monday, September 28, 2015
BY JACOB PALMER
Live, Work Play with the President and CEO of Tillamook County Creamery Association.
Wednesday, August 19, 2015
BY BRIAN LIBBY
Ben Kaiser holds his ground.
Monday, September 28, 2015
BY DAN COOK
Eastern Oregon marketers refocus rural assets through an urban lens.
Wednesday, September 16, 2015
BY GREGG LEWIS | OP-ED
The issue of green-washing remains a significant challenge to those of us who would like to see the building sector in this country do more than make unverifiable claims of sustainability. Transparency about the impacts of a given material is the only way to allow designers to make intelligent choices when selecting building products.
Friday, October 02, 2015
BY KIM MOORE
Our intrepid (and expecting) research editor finds the child care search involves long waiting lists, costly fees and no certainty of securing a place before she goes back to work.
Thursday, August 27, 2015
BY LINDA BAKER
How do you put a baby on the cover of a business magazine without it looking too cutesy?
Thursday, September 17, 2015
BY JACOB PALMER | DIGITAL NEWS EDITOR
Ahead of the recreational rollout, what are dispensary owners most concerned about ?
|The List: 100 Best Nonprofits to Work For in Oregon|
|Run, Nick, Run|
|100 Best Nonprofits: Working for equality inside and out|
|Keep Pendleton Weird|
|One Tough Mayor|
|Liza Minnelli takes 200 mile Uber ride|
|Should gun owners carry insurance?|
|VW admits system was intentionally placed to cheat|
|The $184,000 almond caper|
|Microsoft unveils new lineup of products|
|Miller-Budweiser merger hits snags|
|Portland State campus security to carry guns|
Wage gaps and workforce shortages are threatening the quality of care and supports to Oregonians with intellectual and developmental disabilities. Who’s caring for those who care for our most vulnerable residents?
Engaging employees and customers along the way.
After first visiting as tourists, entrepreneurs relocate to Oregon and spur economic growth.
Former Chief Medical Officer for Saint Alphonsus Health Alliance brings 30 years of healthcare industry expertise and innovation.
Have you reviewed and revised your vacation, sick leave and PTO polices? Determined how to best comply with Oregon's Sick Leave law? Let us help.
Cliff Davidson Named Partner of the Firm.