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|Friday, April 26, 2013|
BY TOM COX | BUSINESS TIPS CONTRIBUTOR
I’ve recently come to realize it’s hip to be square.
I decided this some months ago when I was helping present a powerful workshop to a corporate group, and one participant – let’s call him Joe – almost missed the boat. Joe is young and bright, and based on raw talent, intelligence and ability, could have gotten more out of the workshop than anybody else in his company.
But he didn’t – in fact, he almost got no value at all. I’d missed (until almost too late) seeing his attitude. He was aloof, impressed with his own cleverness, and was hiding his insecurities (we all have them) behind a facade of sophistication.
That facade of sophistication took the form of being critical of others.
I finally caught on when we were reviewing the major learnings of the workshop. Everybody was asked, what did you like best, or, what lesson will you take from this?
And everybody had an answer except Joe.
When it was his turn, he was a little at a loss for words, then started to offer us – I’m sure in a constructive spirit – some critiques for how we could do a better job with our workshop. I was actually very interested in that (as I always am in critiques of my performance) but my co-presenter stopped him. “We’ll ask for feedback later. This question is for your improvement, not ours. What did you like? What did you learn?”
Joe had no answer.
Afterwards we presenters debriefed, and my co-presenter described Joe as being pseudo-sophisticated. I realized I’d been doing the same sort of thing for years – distancing myself from things around me by viewing potential lessons as all being lessons for other people, not lessons for myself.
John Milton said “a wise man will make better use of an idle pamphlet, than a fool will do of sacred Scripture” and I realize in my fear of seeming “square” I had been playing the fool. Like Joe that day, for years I’d missed learning because I was trying to be “cool”. Learning takes risk and openness. Criticizing others is safe and closed, imposing an intellectual and emotional distance and detachment. How much more would I have learned by now if I’d been less “sophisticated” and more open – more square?
Happily, after Joe’s turn was his President, who had learned a lot and shared his enthusiasm freely. This provided the example I think Joe needed. (And this provided another lesson in the power that leaders have in modeling positive behaviors for others.) I could almost see Joe mentally replaying the workshop in his head, looking for what he liked, for what he could learn. In a somewhat sheepish way he shared it with the group, and I could see he was out of his comfort zone.
He was being square. And I decided I’m going to be more square too.
Tom Cox is a Portland area consultant and executive coach. He helps leaders exceed their business aspirations.
Tuesday, August 26, 2014
BY DEBRA RINGOLD | OP-ED CONTRIBUTOR
Why has six years become an acceptable investment in public undergraduate education that over-promises and underperforms?
Wednesday, August 13, 2014
BY TOM COX | OB BLOGGER
When I say, “Your Employee is Always Right,” I do not mean “right about the facts,” but rather “right about how they feel” and “right about how they want to be led.”
Monday, August 18, 2014
Portland is in the middle of another construction boom, with residential and office projects springing up downtown, in the Pearl and Old Town. OB Web Editor Jessica Ridgway documents the new wave.
Thursday, August 28, 2014
OB Research Editor Kim Moore shares some pointers about the 100 Best Companies to Work For survey.
Thursday, July 24, 2014
BY LINDA BAKER | OB EDITOR
Remember the naysayers? Those who called the South Waterfront aerial tram a boondoggle? Those who rejoiced at the massive sell off of luxury condos at the John Ross and Atwater Place?
Tuesday, August 26, 2014
BY KIM MOORE
The ubiquitous fast-food restaurant may be on the decline.
Wednesday, August 27, 2014
Tom Cox interviews Pete Friedes, author of "The 2R Manager," about becoming a Best Boss.
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|Artificial sweeteners may lead to diabetes|
|General Mills expects to save $100M|
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|United Airlines offers $100K buyouts to flight attendants|
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