A racier race for governor
Ben, Ben! It’s like watching the paint dry, now that
you’ve dropped out of the race for governor. Once the
independent candidate and (yeah, it’s true) media darling
Ben Westlund backed out, we were left with candidates with the
personality of … we’ll just leave it there. So who
should have run for governor to spice things up in a race where
squabbling over the kicker is the most juice being
squeezed?
Gert Boyle
She’s shown that as leader of Columbia Sportswear she
has the staying power to take a local brand and go global.
Besides, who better to keep the Legislature in line than One
Tough Mother?
Les Schwab
The tire mogul would have those sluggish state employees
lookin’ sharp and running out into the Capitol parking
lot to greet visitors.
Joan Brown-Kline
As the CEO of the Girl Scouts Columbia Rivers Council, this
dynamic executive could draw on the considerable fundraising
prowess of thousands of cookie-sellers to help balance the
budget should Measures 41 and 48 pass.
Gary Fish
The founder and president of Deschutes Brewery can sell Oregon
to Oregonians so well that they’d swallow his tax reform
bill like a cold Mirror Pond Ale.
Ursula K. Le Guin
Some vignettes in Salem have reached the level of science
fiction, so why not have one of the premier fantasy authors
running state government? She can take her platforms from some
of the titles of her books, like The Left Hand of Darkness and
Forgiveness Day. Not
to mention Wild
Girls.
Gus Van Sant
The director of Drugstore
Cowboy and My Own
Private Idaho, he specializes in artsy films of
low-lifes, so would fit right in with the lobbyists,
politicians and various hangers-on. Plus, he might get Matt
Damon and Ben Affleck to the inaugural ball.
Lars Larson
This shock jock knows what’s best for Oregon and with a
devoted following of listeners, he would be able to marshal the
votes. Let’s get him on the ballot. Oops, never mind, he
lives in Vancouver.
Judi Johansen
The former PacifiCorp CEO is smart, capable, well regarded and
just so nice. She left
the utility in March when Warren Buffet’s Berkshire
Hathaway took over, so she’s probably got time on her
hands.
David Chen
Why pretend? This venture capitalist is chair of the Oregon
Innovation Council, the Oregon Nanoscience and Microtechnology
Institute, Oregon Entrepreneurs Forum and he’s on the
boards of the Federal Reserve Bank and the Oregon Investment
Fund. The smart, committed investor pretty much runs the state
anyway.
Dick Wendt
Klamath Falls millionaire Wendt owns window and door maker
Jeld-Wen, the largest private company in Oregon and has been a
silent player in politics — via mega campaign
contributions — for a long time. Might have to be a
government by proxy, as Wendt rarely does public
appearances.
Doc and Connie
Hatfield
If the founders of Brothers-based Oregon Country Natural Beef
were in charge, it would cure all that
urban-Oregon-runs-the-state banter and end the knock that
Oregon’s against traditional marriage. And who
doesn’t love a ten-gallon hat in the Capitol?
The Rock
At this point, we need an action hero. Get this
wrestler-turned-bad-actor an Oregon driver’s license.
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